Next year I will join a gym. Next year I will get the training that will help me get the job I want. Next year I will stop allowing people to control my life. Next year… Every year millions of us make these resolutions, promises, or goals for the New Year. And, every year millions of us are disappointed because we fail to meet these promises, resolutions, or goals. We immediately start to beat up on ourselves. – I can’t do it. It’s no use. Why bother? I start. I stop. Maybe the goal was too high or too much.
Or, just maybe, you should not have set any goals. Many experts will tell us we need goals because having goals give us purpose in life. I beg to differ. I believe that having purpose gives us goals in life. In addition, having a purpose helps us to connect to what it is we want to accomplish. Goals do not. However, we can fulfill that purpose by attaching it to a goal.
When a client tells me that he/she wants to get organized because they need order in their lives, or to become more productive, or because they want to be able to find things, I say to them: That is a goal. And, that is good. However, when they tell me they want to get organized because they are overwhelmed and cannot think clearly and need clarity, peace and time for self and family, I say to them, -That answers the Why. Once we can answer the why, we have a connection. Once a connection is made, we have a purpose. We can then attach that purpose to the goal of getting organized.
So whatever goal you have set for the New Year, ask yourself, how does achieving this goal affect me on an emotional, physical, mental and/or spiritual level? If achieving it has to do with things outside of you such as getting your family off your back or so people will like you more, or to get the boss off your back, you will either not achieve it or there is likely to be no feeling or sense of satisfaction if it is achieved, because it is not coming from within.
Think of the goal as your destination – the end result. Each step or direction you take towards reaching your destination will be connected to your purpose. Remember, having a purpose in life is what keeps us humans thriving and looking forward, and having one more reason to wake up, get up, and get out the next morning. So get connected. To get started try the following:
- Do not set any goals, promises or resolutions for the new year (at least not yet)
- Instead, state a purpose for the new year and connect to it
- Make five dots around your purpose
- Put an action next to each dot that will help you achieve your purpose
- Continue placing the number of dots needed with an action attached until completed
- Then connect the dots
- If you can see the picture, you are on your way to accomplishing your purpose (goal)
Now that you have connected to your purpose, next month look for my article on It’s a New Year – You Can MEET Your Goals.